It takes about a year.
One year ago today, Caleb, Simona and I were landing at Dulles Airport after 2.5 weeks of visiting family in Germany and traveling a bit in Sweden. I’m reminded of this because of where we’ve been- and, actually, where we’re (not) going. It’s a bit of a long story, but one I want to share.
In the fall of 2007, a good friend of mine was feeling drained by life in DC. She was tired from the busy pace of life, the distance from family, and the frenetic chase after worldly success that dominates this city. She had been praying for relief, unsure of how that would look. Some changes (moving from a 1BR to a 2BR apartment with her husband and daughter, primarily), helped her in her outlook, and her attitude towards living here was starting to look up. She felt some renewed energy and enthusiasm when- COMPLETELY out of the blue- her husband was offered the perfect job in the perfect location for their family. They moved, and to this day, she couldn’t be happier. She thought her prayers had been answered with the apartment change, but she had no idea that God had something much bigger and better in store for her shortly thereafter. I was thrilled for her but was sad to see her move (and still miss her!!).
As we entered 2008, I began to realize that I was in a place similar to where my friend had been the previous fall. I was unhappy in DC and wanted to move anywhere else, really. The thought of sweating out another hot, humid DC summer; sitting in urban traffic & fighting for parking spots; dealing with slow, inefficient District government bureaucracy; watching more friends move away from this transient city; and attending a church that was without a pastor and was bleeding members left me drained- emotionally, mentally, and even physically. As I talked to my friend who had moved, she told me (only half jokingly), “Well, start praying now. It takes about a year.”
In my head, I had “the solution” figured out. Caleb and I had been discussing his applying to graduate school for the fall of 2009. He had long debated the pros and cons of attending and felt like it might be a good time in his career to go back to school. Since we had never thought we’d end up permanent residents of the District, and since we had already lived here for 5 years by 2008, we thought the timing was right. Because I was so unhappy, I encouraged him to apply “anywhere but in DC,” and figured this was God’s provision for us. This would be my ticket out of the District and out of my misery. I had seen God provide the perfect situation for this friend- and for several others who had moved away from this city- so I figured I’d trust him to provide.
Despite “knowing” that we only had about a year left in DC, I felt like I couldn’t stand one more minute here. The trip to Germany had been a welcome relief from the “grind” of daily life, but I didn’t want it to end. As we sat in the airport in Hamburg awaiting our return flight, I started crying and said I didn’t want to get on the plane. (I nearly cried again when we landed at Dulles and the captain announced the local time and temperature as still being in the upper 80s . . . at 8:00 PM.) I was miserable, and, unfortunately, I made those around me (read: Caleb) miserable through my whining, complaining, and bad attitude throughout much of the summer.
So, it’s been a year. Which means it’s time for the “perfect” move to the perfect location for our family. Except that God didn’t answer my prayers like I had hoped or expected. A variety of circumstances- ranging from Andreas’s surgery to Caleb’s admissions and financial aid decisions to opportunities here- have lead to our decision not to pursue grad school this fall, meaning we’re not moving anywhere.
INSTEAD, God has answered my prayers in an even better way. Over the past year, as Caleb went through the application process, I began to treasure my life and experiences in DC. Maybe it was early nostalgia for what I’d be losing, or maybe it was a realization that living in a walkable neighborhood with amazing playgrounds, access to public transportation, and plenty of other free fun for moms and young children is a rare, precious commodity in this world. I’ve come to realize that I have thousands of reasons to be thankful for living here, and God has completely turned my heart and mind around. Plus, He has provided for us in so many ways: a pastor for our church; friends with whom we’ve grown closer after others moved away; and even some family nearby (one of my sisters was here for an internship last summer, and another just moved to Maryland!)
We still don’t know much about where God will take us in the future. Caleb still has an option to pursue a grad program beginning in 2010, and the possibility remains that jobs or families will take us elsewhere in the future. But for now, I am excited to be living here and am determined to take full advantage, just in case all that’s left is about a year.
